Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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