So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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