I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
