doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
