We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
