So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
