I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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