youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just pee around me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
