If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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