we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
