can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i out mim tonsoeep
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