therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
