I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
