You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
