the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
