Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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