Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
