I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize