Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
