no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
