then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize