Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
