The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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