Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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