found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
