I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
