good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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