Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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