So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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