I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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