so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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