I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
