Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
