On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
