The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize