Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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