Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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