i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
