I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
