Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
