Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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