Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
