omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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