nut hugger
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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