am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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