dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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