I have demons in me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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