if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
