piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
