i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
