So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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