i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We need to get me chipped asap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize