that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
