why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
