Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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