Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
