no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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