You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
