omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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