Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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