Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she told me i tasted like america
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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