Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
where am i from again
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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