I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
