Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
