Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Green mimosas i think yes
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
