Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize