areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
