She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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