I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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