His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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