So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
