You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
