Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
