i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
