Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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