i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
