I have demons in me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
two words...techno handjob
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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