Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
