She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
