she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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