Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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