I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
